What Not to Say to an Isolated Older Adult

What Not to Say to an Isolated Older Adult

When MaryKay Kubota’s husband died unexpectedly at 49, she felt that the world kept going for everyone but her. Until that moment, the then 47-year-old mother of four, who had married at 19, managed their family’s fast-paced social life. “I didn’t have to think about what was next,” Kubota said. But after Guy Kubota’s death in 1997, even with two children still at home, “everything just stopped,” she recalled.

As her grief escalated, so did her feeling of abandonment.

“Nobody knew what to say in the situation, so they just left me alone,” said Kubota. Though they offered the standard “Let me know what you need,” Kubota, facing responsibilities she really couldn’t manage on her own, found it hard to ask for help…

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